'Til Sex Do You Part

"I did it all for the nookie -- C'mon -- The nookie -- C'mon -- So you can take that cookie..." Listen, you may not be up to it on the big night. You'll probably be effing tired. Go to sleep. That's perfectly okay.

Wedding night sex. It's like the holy grail. Except when it's not. Long day, maybe a little too much bubbly, probably not enough food, small talking all those distant friends/family you've never met before - your energy will be zapped. And let's not forget the attire; this isn't the sort of stuff you can rip off in a fit of passion - it's either rented (so you gotta be careful) or expensive (and has a sh*t ton of buttons to undo). By the time you two get to the nookie, it'll be a lot more limp bizkit and a lot less glorious night of wedded bliss.

You know what? Skip it! Yes, that's right, skip it. You just agreed to death do you part - skipping one night is nothing. Wait, wait, don't stop reading. I know that everyone expects wedding nights to be legendary, but think about it honestly - historically, how legendary could the "big night" have been?

Back in the day, we were all supposed to enter marriage with our V cards intact, which means the wedding night was your first night. Let's all rewind back to our first time - I don't care how sweet/romantic/"good" it was, that ish was not legendary.* But that's not what people admitted to when someone (kid sister, best friend, nervous newly engaged) asked. People spread the word that it was amazing and therefore there was pressure to keep up appearances - who wants to be the couple who admits that their first night was merely so-so?

Anyway, since there's no longer a requirement to display the bloody sheets (at least not in my world), there is absolutely no need to add bad sex to the list of things you'll remember about your wedding day. Now, don't get me wrong, if you two are hot and bothered and raring to go, by all means. But if the siren song of sleep beckons, feel no shame in succombing to its sweet serenade. Besides, morning-after-wedding sex is pretty fantastic ;)

*If your first time makes your top five o.m.g. list, I know one of 2 things about you: 1. you've had sex five times or less or 2. you don't have good sex (sorry, it had to be said).

Over the next few weeks, we will share some of our thoughts on weddings, what not to do, how to's, and random wedding fun. For weddings Snarky Apple style, check out our Snarky Wedding posts.

SOURCE: Lite Speed Photography