You are who you are and you are beautiful, sexy and just right for the right person. If someone puts you down, asks you to change your style, your hair, your body or your attitude in a way that doesn't feel right to you, don't put up with it. Go ahead. Liberate yourself. And give them a good hard shove in the other direction.
The other night, a girlfriend and I were talking about failed relationships and the reasons behind them. And I found myself still incensed and flabbergasted by my relationship with Sir Judge-a-lot. Holy cr*p. How did I let myself get sucked into that type of relationship?
So, once upon a time, Sir Judge-a-lot and I met and started dating. It was pretty intense and seemed like it was going pretty well. He was talking rings and wedding bells pretty quickly and seemed really into me. Yeah, he was a bit messed up, but who isn’t and at that point I was willing to put up with his brand of crazy.
Now, I pride myself on being a strong woman with good taste, but I’ll admit that I was a bit skewed right then. I was at a point in my life when I needed some good and true loving. Unfortunately, his was neither good nor true.
It started out with kindness and open communication. Unfortunately, very shortly his idea of open communication included criticizing my hair style and my clothes. I believe that even the fact that I don’t paint my fingernails came under discussion.
At first, I was torn apart and catered to the fact that he liked my hair curly and that he liked me to dress neat and preppy. But I raged against it, too. Why did he want to get with me in the first place?! Really? I have style and I’m beautiful. You’re some hairy-toed, pathetic short guy who has about as much sense of style as a J Crew model.
Finally, thankfully, blissfully, it was over. Yes, he broke up with me. THANK GOD! And again, I ask myself: What the F#CK was I thinking?
And I’m not alone in this type of experience. I have a friend who dated a guy who, after about 3 months of getting good and laid by her, started to gripe that she dressed like a slut. Another friend dated a guy who criticized the way he held his wine glass and that he liked to wear blazers. You’ve got to be kidding me.
Girls and Boys, the lesson here is: If they want you to change, they don’t want you. They’re looking for someone else. Anyone worth dating enjoys you for you – for who you are, how you look, what you wear, no matter what. Don’t ever try to change for someone else. Look at yourself in the mirror. Love yourself. And drop the son of a b*tch who tries to make you other than who you are.
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