The Single Girl: Friend or Foe

There is an episode of  Sex in the City where Carrie asks the question, “Is there a secret cold war between marrieds and singles?” Now, I always thought this was a crap theory until recently. Is she Carrie more right than I’ve ever realized? Why is it that as a single girl am I lost in the “we’s” and “baby makes three’s”?

Girlfriends and guyfriends, you knew me pre-marriage, pre-relationship, pre-babies and yet I’ve become the old pair of shoes that you won’t throw away, but instead you shoved into the back of the closet.

Marilyn: Won’t listen to anything I have to say about her life post helping her plan her wedding. This has become even more evident now that she has a child. I mean what could I possibly know about anything she’s going through, I'm single?

Jake: My life-long childhood friend who doesn’t even talk to me once a year for no apparent reason. He slipped away really slowly, starting with the dating and moving into the marriage. I have a feeling Jake’s wife is a little threatened by me and our relationship. Honey, if I wanted him I could have had him!

Maggie: Recently coupled after being a single girl for more than a decade. "WE are going here" and "WE have plans for this" and "WE don’t know what we’re doing this weekend." I GET IT. You’re in lurv and you’re a couple. I actually really like her boy Rick, but when you and I can’t ever do anything solo I get confused. Did you and Rick get sewn together when I was not looking?

Sheila: Single mom who lives more than 4 hours away from me. She was never super social pre-kid and now is even less so because everything focuses around her son. She actually got upset for not being included in a party invitation for something here in Minne. Really? Last summer I recover you came up here to visit Mall of America and didn't even bother to see me for the entire weekend. So why would I think you would drive up for a party?

Ladies and gents just because we’re single does not make us untouchable. I am the same person you knew before the “we” and “baby makes three”. My life is as full and active and valid as yours, it’s just different. The random messages: “we really should hang out" or "I haven’t seen you in ages" may make you feel better, but you lack the follow thru to make me think you still want to have a relationship with me. I know your life has changed and you have other commitments, but one-sided friendships don't work. If being my friend is something that doesn’t fit into your life anymore, then man up and let me know so I can’t stop wasting time and energy.

For those of you who in my life that have managed to balance friends and family—thanks.
Scarlet since you’re "selfish" and take the occasional Mommy’s Time Out, happy hour tonight?

SOURCE: Dreamstime