Mommy's Time Out

Before you were a mother, you were you. And you may have enjoyed bubbly brunches with the ladies, dancing into a Sunday morning from a Saturday night, eating your way through the city one restaurant at a time, or long and luxurious (and solo) bubble baths. It’s called unwinding. And it’s important. Don’t give it up just ‘cause some little person calls you Mom...

Many many moons ago, I had an annual girls' weekend. Four days of catching up, making new memories, lots o’ wine, yummy food, and way too much fun. High school friends - stayed in contact over the years - started the weekend in our mid twenties. When it began, I was the only mom and they were all single ladies. You couldn't tell that I was a "mom" while we were out and about. I didn’t talk incessantly about my little ones, nor did I spend all day worrying about them either. I swapped my mommy panties for my party thongs (yup, I just said that!) and made my girlfriends priority number #1 for four glorious days. I'll even admit to occasionally scoring the group a free round of drinks with a little flirting (shh! don't tell my man). We all just had fun, got crazy, and relaxed! Fast forward to present day...

No more girls' weekend. Why? Cause the single ladies got married, then got themselves knocked up. At the first hint of pregnancy, the girls' weekend went the way of roadkill. They couldn't possibly. They were too busy. Oh no, they couldn't leave the baby. Maybe next year? How about a rain check? Baby number two is on the way. Then - radio silence. No more talk, no more planning, no more girls’ weekend.

A group of fun, fabulous, and long-time friends disbanded by the dreaded M.O.M. We all looked forward to the annual weekend. It was important, so important I kicked my people out of my house to host it one year. Yet, all it took was one baby and the ladies abandoned the retreat. They couldn’t possibly take four days for themselves now that baby was in the picture. Sometimes I wonder what they thought of me in the fun years – the mom who picked friends over family once a year. Sometimes I’m bummed that I got dumped, sometimes I’m sad for their lost selves, and sometimes I’m angry that it was okay when I did it, but not okay for their precious families.

Women, wake up! We are more than baby making drones. Don’t abandon YOU for a little person who’s programmed to love whatever version of you is on the other side of the womb. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud to be a mom - but COME ON!!!! It's not bigger than everything else that I am. It's one thing, one of many things. No doubt it takes priority most days, obviously kids can't raise themselves, but I can't take an 18+ year hiatus on me just because I'm a birther.

There is absolutely no excuse for ignoring your life, your loves, or your passions for motherhood. It doesn’t make you a better mom to abandon the things that recharge you and ignite your soul. I get it; it’s different and maybe even a little harder. A night out might require a babysitter, a weekend trip may mean you have to trust your partner (gasp!), and sometimes post baby finances require creative finagling, but you make it work. I did. I hosted a small New Year’s Eve party while parenting an infant – asked everyone to arrive post bed time, made it potluck (because I had no time and less money), and forewarned everyone that a crying baby was not a signal of last call, just an indication that mom or dad may need to take a little party break. That New Year’s Eve is actually one of my favorites. The little one woke up just before midnight (I think it’s a sign that she enjoys a good party). Instead of freaking out, I rolled with it. I got to ring in the new year surrounded by family AND friends.

I firmly believe that I’m a better mother because I make time for me. When asked, it is my first piece of advice to new moms. Give your kids the best version of you; don't rsvp regrets only to your life. Being a mom is a gift, not a punishment. Stop living under some self-imposed life sentence. Get out there – that’s an order!

SOURCE: TotalBeverage.net