My Night Was A Toby Keith Song

I don't love country music, but I don't hate it either. That said, no one wants their life to become a country song--it's just too cliché for words. As I found out the hard way one night, sometimes the cliché is forced on you. Have y'all ever heard Toby Keith try to rap?

I decided to be spontaneous and play hostess recently and invite some folks over for cocktails and conversations. Phil, one of my guests, responded positively to my invitation and with a request to bring his friend Margaret since they had preexisting plans. I had never met Margaret, but our mutual friend Sarah had raved about how fun she was, so I thought—why not?!

So Phil and Margaret are the first to arrive, introductions are made and we head to the bar to pour ourselves some tasty adult beverages. Immediately after we sit down, Margaret asks if we have any limes. Being an excellent hostess, I jump up and slice up a lime and bring it over to her. As I’m returning to my seat with my drink Margaret says to me, “Clearly you’ve never been a bartender before. Because if you’d been a bartender you would have been able to slice that lime perfectly.” Then she gets up and goes over to the bar to “help me out” with the lime. What the eff?! You’re a guest in my house, we just met and you’re giving me tips on slicing fruit? Despite my shock and annoyance I decided to let it slide and move on. But this, as they say, was only the beginning....cue the country music!

Yes, it was this moment (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) I began to hear Toby Keith in my head. He became the soundtrack for the rest of the night. The thing is, I didn't necessarily want to talk about me---I would have settled for anything or anyone…OTHER THAN MARGARET. Dear god anytime anyone tried to lead the conversation the woman would immediately interrupt and change the subject to something about her or something that would shift the attention back to her. Phil and Sarah tried to have a side conversation about mutual friends who were now dating and she interrupted to complain that “I love conversations about things I know nothing about!” Pretty hilarious considering that’s exactly what she did to everyone else for the entire evening. There were 10 other people at this gathering but if all eyes weren't on Margaret there were dramatic actions taken to put the spotlight back on the most important person in the room—Margaret!!

First impressions count folks! Conjuring up Toby Keith singing in my head is never a good thing. Narcissus…I mean Margaret will not have the opportunity for a repeat performance. There aren't enough cocktails to make ME endure that again.

PHOTO SOURCE:Dreamstine