Looking for Mr. Right?

I don't profess to know all, but over the years I have watched many a single friend play the dating game. What I've discovered is that there are a few things that don't seem to work in the quest to find a mate (at least in my limited observation group). These are a few reasons you might still be single:

1. Because you want to be. This one seems like an odd one, but I have dealt with this more than once. If you're content being single, that's cool. This thing is, just be cool with it. Don't pretend you are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Don't commiserate about the lack of fish in the sea. Don't bitch about how everyone you meet is not good enough. If you don't want to date, don't date, but don't play the poor sad single role because you think that's what people expect of you. Trust me, ALL of your friends find this annoying.

2. Because you have completely unreasonable mating expectations.You will generally not find a homely socially awkward homebody paired with an modelesque social butterfly. Why? Because 1) their worlds don't intersect and 2) their personal interests don't line up. I'm not saying it could never happen, but without some common denominator - this is a highly unlikely paring. So, what does this mean? It means that it is NOT a good idea for Socially Awkward to ignore (or flat out reject) viable partners encountered every day because of some never gonna happen fantasy. If you are the lucky one meant to be with Social Butterfly, you will (assuming you believe in destiny, fate, and all that stuff). For the rest of you, open your eyes and realize how many very cool people you're passing up with your nonsense.

3. Because you are an @sshole. Remember in grade school, when you made fun of someone or punched them in the arm because you liked them? Yeah, well, it was a lame pick-up tactic then and it is COMPLETELY lame now. If you (a) pride yourself in "telling it like it is" no matter what the circumstance, (b) have been single forever, and (c) don't want to be, then you might be an a-hole and not know it. It is not cute to give people sh*t all the time, not attractive to be argumentative for no reason, and it's mean to continue teasing/mocking after you've been told to stop. Nobody wants to date the a-hole.

4. Because you aren't even trying. Do you get up, go to work, go back home, vegetate in front of the tv (or curl up with a book)? Do you cringe when you see calls/messages from your friends asking you to come hangout? Do you bitch and moan every time you do go out, basically making the people you who invited you regret it? Listen, there are no available eligible single people at your house, at your office, or in front of the tv (or in a book). In order to meet someone, you have to go to where the people are and not look like such a sour puss when you get there.

5. Because you surround yourself with kryptonite. If every time you go out, you surround yourself with your girls, your gays, your guys, etc., you are making it pretty tough for someone to approach. Nobody likes to walk into a den of wolves. So, step from away the posse and let people know that you are free. If they can't tell, they'll just walk on by.

These are but a few reasons you might be single (I don't presume to have exhausted the topic). Here's the thing, I'm not a matchmaker wannabe - it takes far too much effort. I love all my friends, be they single or coupled, but sometimes I get tired of the whining. If you want someone, I want you to find someone, but it takes a little work. If you are always bitching about your single status, then it's time to take a look in the mirror and figure out what YOU may be doing to contribute to it.

SOURCE: Dan Talson/Dreamstime.com