Don’t Be Afraid of a Little PDA

Private vs Public? Should there be a huge difference? Yeah, I don’t necessarily want to see people humping each other on park benches. But, at the same time, I love seeing couples walk down the street hand-in-hand, exchanging those intimate looks that give you a glimpse into their relationship, sitting next to each other in a booth at a restaurant with no one else at the table, kissing against a wall. It’s wonderful! It shows love, which is too often hidden or frowned upon or cinematized in our society. I think it’s about sharing and showing the love and sensuality, not raw sex. That, to me, is the boundary.

Last week, my boyfriend Malcolm and I went out for drinks with his friend Rob from high school and Rob’s girlfriend. Malcolm hadn’t seen Rob for a while and had never met the girlfriend, Nicole. I knew very little about either of them.
Now, Malcolm and I love to touch each other and don’t really care if we’re in public - a kiss on the lips or hand, a solid hug, a lick of the neck, a casual brush of the hand against the cheek (or ass cheek), and, yes, every once in a while a full-on embrace (particularly after a few drinks). We do it whether or not other people are around, though. It’s true and it’s real. We love and want each other to know it in a physical way.



According to one of my Snarky sisters, Malcolm and I can be a bit over the top. (Thanks Sierra!) But at least we are sincere about it. Yes, sometimes I cross my own boundaries. But what fun would life be if you couldn’t break the rules every once in a while?

Anyway, throughout drinks, appetizers and general conversation, I didn’t see Rob and Nicole touch. Not once. There wasn’t even any body language that showed desire for proximity - no tilt of the head, flutter of the eyelashes, lick of the lips. Nothing. They seemed fine and friendly with each other. There didn’t seem to be any hostility, but there also didn’t seem to be any desire.

And I thought, “OK. Maybe they’ve just been with each other for a while.” I mean, my parents (married 35+ years) still hold hands walking down the street and chase each other around the house naked, but not every couple is the same. Some are more reserved - particularly after the first blush has worn off.

After leaving Rob and Nicole, I asked Malcolm how long they had been together. The answer? 6 months. 6 months?! I couldn’t believe it. Again, not every couple is the same and I have no idea how they act in private. Heck, they could have gone straight back to their house for wild monkey love in private. But the fact that they didn’t seem to want to touch each other after that little time together made me sad. That’s still so early to be that completely reserved!

PDAs are good. Touching is good and natural. It’s a physical demonstration of affection. It shows that you feel and that you are not a robot. Don’t avoid touching each other because you’re afraid of what others will think. I’d bet that for every person who frowns at a PDA, there are 5 more who will smile. Touch each other because you care. You don’t have that much time on this earth. Show your love.

SOURCE: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net