Definitely Maybe

Once upon a time, people knew what R.S.V.P. meant (répondez, s'il vous plaît or please reply). You got an invite (in the mail or in person), looked at your calendar, called the host and said yes or no. No or Yes. Yes or No. 

SOURCE: photostock

I imagine that concept seems so foreign. Not the whole getting a tangible invite bit, but rather, the giving and receiving of a definitive response. And for that, I blame the internets. Why? Because online group invitations introduced a third "viable" response option - Maybe. 

We are now in the era of Maybe. 

Maybe is almost NEVER an appropriate response to an invitation (there are exceptions, but they are few and far between). Why is Maybe so inappropriate? Because it is an absolutely useless piece of information for your hostess. It doesn't tell her how much food to have on hand, doesn't let her know if she needs to buy more bubbly, it certainly doesn't help her set up seating arrangements. Basically, it just effs with her. She can't finalize any specific party plans because she has no idea how many people to expect at her house on Friday night or at her BBQ or at her brunch. 

Maybe is actually worse than not responding (surprised I said that?). Non-responders aren't coming, especially if they haven't even looked at your invite (thanks Evite, for that bit of intel), so a hostess need not really worry about them. Why is Maybe so bad? Well, because it basically means "I don't care enough about you or your event to commit." Seem harsh? Well, here are some of the reasons people have admitted that they Maybe:

• I don't really want to come to your shindig (in fact, I'd rather watch paint dry), but I don't want to seem like an @ss for saying No right away, so Maybe it is (otherwise known as the Minnesota Passive Aggressive).
• This sounds fun enough (Maybe), but what if better plans come along? I'd hate to feel like I couldn't go to those instead. 
• You don't really know me, but my spouse (partner, boy/girlfriend) is making me go with them, I'm saying Maybe as my small form of protest.
• I'm not in a position to check my calendar right now, but I'd like to go, so it's a Maybe for now (never to return and correct the RSVP after they determine they can't go).

Is this really what you want to be telling people? No one expects that you'll be able to attend everything - we all have busy lives. You know who else has a busy life? Your potential hostess. Why be another marble in her stress jar when - with the click of a button - you can give her some piece of mind. Just say Yes or No. It's really that simple.