Snarky Apple: Roommate Hell

Having a roommate is always a bit of a balancing act. I know, you're asking why a fabulous 30-something gal still has a roommate—well, money of course! Reduced rent allows a single gal to live very cheaply and save the cash for much more amusing things like cocktails and shoes! Between work and play I’m rarely home other than to sleep, so I rarely spend time with my housemate. Now, the key to any relationship is an open flow of communication and that’s especially helpful with roomies. So when Roommate chooses to omit important information—Sierra is LIVID PISSED. This apple is obviously snarky, but she rarely displays a show of temper. I’m a slow boil,but once the water is boiling the steam lasts for a long time.

While indulging myself in a little dinner and prime time, Roommate decides to have a little impromptu pow-wow... to let me know that in less than a week our house is to become a temporary half-way house! “So I forgot to tell you that these friends of friends will be staying in the guest bedroom for a month while they are doing an internship.” Followed with, “And I’ll be leaving on Monday for a week of vacation.” So to clarify: 1) Two people that neither of us know will be staying in the house for a month. 2) I have to greet them because Roommate will be gone—FOR A WEEK. 3) This is the first I’m hearing about it and they arrive in less than four days. Are you EFFING KIDDING ME?!!

I consider myself a pretty easy going person. I don’t get irate when late parties erupt in the house on the rare nights I choose to stay in and relax. I willingly find somewhere else to be if you need the house for date night. I laughed when one of your friends drunkenly walked in my room and tried to crawl in bed with me because they couldn’t count the doors correctly. I’m sure it will be fine and the visit will be relatively painless, but what if it isn’t?! This is rude, inconsiderate and absolutely unacceptable.

Moral of the story: I need to cut back on the shoes and cocktails and find a one bedroom because I am too old for this crap!!