Church attendance was never optional as a child—period and Christmas Eve services have always been a big part of my family’s holiday traditions. The church is pretty, there are lots of candles and I love the music so I haven’t had a huge objection as an adult. I feel slightly hypocritical though as my overall church attendance has decreased dramatically as an adult. I would consider myself to be more spiritual than religious but this is not a concept my father understands and frequently leads to all sorts of FUn discussions. I try to avoid these (yes sometimes I actually avoid conflict) but I’m not comfortable lying to him either. Too add to this guilty cocktail, the church my father belongs to has a minister that frequently makes statements I find inappropriate and offensive.
So here’s how this parental conversation goes…
Dad: So are you going to Christmas Eve church with me?
Me: If you want me to go then yes.
Dad: What do you mean?
Me: What did I just say?
Dad: Don’t YOU want to go?
Me: Not really.
Dad: Why not?
Me: Well Dad, you know I don’t particularly care for your minister so I really don’t want to sit through a sermon given by him but it’s important to you so I go.
Dad: But I want you to want to go(accompanied by a stricken look like I’ve wounded him and grumbling underneath his breath as he walks away).
Religion has always been very important to my father so I know he thinks he failed in raising me but you know what “the raising” is done. I’m over 30 and the guilt is not going to change my ideas. I actually think my parents did a good job raising their kids. I still participate in the traditions that are important to him despite my personal objections. I’m sorry my personal belief system doesn’t align with yours but isn’t it more important that I’m a good and kind person?
I'm hoping this year maybe I’ll get to avoid this newest holiday tradition? Just in case I better check in with Mom and make sure that the liquor cabinet is stocked. Tis the season to get...hammered!
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